You Are My Remedy

Hello Monday.

I just adore the turquoise lingering with peach. Glad last week it is over. Been through day and night up until 10pm in the lab, squeeze tons of things to do in Ramadhan before leaving off. Not sure to get things done or just to reduce the burden size back after the trip. I am not really sure why such an answer so matter to me. I love to jumble up all that by means, with no purpose. End up it consumes me like having all the drama in the world.

I think I am at the stage of not having eyeliner is cool. Finally, the confidence is here. I am not sure the reason why I feel so comfortable having me as myself, but I am pretty sure I know who is behind it. Money isn’t important, the gratitude is. I am learning to do mistakes and not regret them, struggling to admit the flaws and how humble we are in the eyes of the creator. Thats tough for me.

Give me camera, and I will capture everything, And I definitely has stolen your heart, my husband to be

Apologize <3

After All These Years, Have Some Piece

There is always something on people that makes you laugh, so let me grow old with you. When every word is spoken, makes me more drowning in my own fantasy, yet it feels so real. I have encounter this one quote saying destination is not a place/aim but it is just a path for our new way of looking things. It is been a silence, but reading the post from beloved makes me awake from the work this morning, and absolutely carving a smile on my face. Looking things at past, made me realize how selfish I was before, so busy mending things in order to look normal from other’s eyes. It is a sin. Life is so hectic by the way, with so many things to be done but praised to God, with every failure, and almost to the end point, rainbow finally shine her way; just to keep me in the game. And with that, I know exactly who He made me for, a scientist, a brain squeezer. 

Seeing the World, Again

Oh yes. I love this feeling of freshness having my sweating face been dried away by the wind passing by, when my car swift the road. Right away after jog for 30mins seeing the uncle, auntie, grandfather, grandmother, dog walker and of course grumpy old chinese lady. And of course all chinese. Hoping the traffic has calmed his way after 6-8am of war. Few things came across my mind: first, the earth hour coming this 23 March, how I am going find one day to dump all my used papers in recycle bin at Taylor’s University and having a Twitter account. 

I read an article on gene designer for coming babies, is starting to path the way in science world and how ovules from Ivy league woman cost 10x higher than normal working women in United States. Guess, it has started and how it worries the world on how this would affect the evolution again. Some said the evolution has stopped, in term of not much on physical changing (Darwin) but somehow it has little bit on the attitude part: greedy, stress, and whats not. I found this overwhelming on how scientist from new south wales struggling to non-extinct the extinct frog who give birth through mouth and I could see the tiny baby frog right at the opening of her mother’s mouth, not a tadpole anymore. Oh thinking about birth, yesterday was a mammoth piece of memory. Marilyn giving birth to six kittens, and I was the one who in the labour room. Epic. And how that tiny bouquet of flower hanging at the groom’s chest on his big day. Beautiful. Happy Monday people!

Craft A Spirit, Then Gone

No matter how badly I wanted to write this down last night, it turned out blank page. I just remembered I did not bring the laptop home. Remember those time when everything suddenly become so clear and you can see how pretty everything is, yes, last night, while driving with leather jacket on. Oh feels like Megan Fox in one of the scene in Transformer. Kinda missing the half chilling half sunny day in states, wearing my blue black leather jacket. The subtle feeling of sadness when things happening in totally upside down and at the same time, you get the gift that you never asked for and started to wonder which part of kindness that you did, to deserve the gift ? Totally a beautiful feeling. How could a 30mins route on normal peak hour becomes 5mins in silent road? I started to wonder how my 25mins is being spent with the strangers who I rather not to be with, I would prefer Safwan instead. How random is this when I saw greetings video from Yuna in top of the newsfeed at the same listening to Decorate. Oh yes, happiness is like having both lips to touch, have to be shared. 

I was in oral surgery room yesterday, having to see how lightning was the surgeon swifting around her hand, her back and at the same time talking to calm down the patient, in pain of course. I came to realize how the doctor is going to take the pain away, having the skill around, without the never end of knowledge from God to guide us. Simple, the pain will stay. And of course, I have to keep going to be a scientist. And at the glance from the window, I saw my most unfavorite doctor busy taking picture of his patient, a little boy. This little boy with so black spiky hair, was the one who cried non-stop in pain having his cleft palate surgery. And of course with that particular doctor, I dislike. 

And suddenly, a feeling came through. The act of kindness of getting back the pretty face of the little boy and like butterfly effect I am sure, the future of the kid is reshape to better.

I cant believe I learn this from that particular doctor. Happy Weekend ;)

Raspberry Satin Slightly Faded

Human with being. I just love the feeling of the magic of knowing compared to the unknown. There is no such thing without reason. It is just an excuse, which has to be stopped. Step up and admit. And all the things that I used to be afraid suddenly faded, and you become my most favorite thing on earth. The heat yesterday my dear was so overwhelming, made me sick to death and the most afraid part is not knowing. I came to realize the astonishing part of being a scientist, finding the knowledge not for fame, not for satisfaction but just enough to have the secure feeling of knowing. Just a statement from him made me breath again, not because he is a doctor but he just know how to make me feel secured by blurting out any fact he could get and I believed.I just love the combination of peach and turquoise, it describes my feeling pretty well. I just love to just mix up everything, cause I know it it will blend well. I do not know if i could this but I just want to be yours

Pearl Laces

       Funny how I actually wanted this post to be titled ‘White Laces’ and it turned out to be ‘Pearl Laces’. Typical Bashira. I am fucking tired with all the reading on passion nowadays. Blame late Steve Job. Maybe people started to pay attention on passion since it is coincidentally bringing huge of money to the passionate guy of Apple. The truth is, different people, different life. My favorite in Kiyosaki: You are in the journey of searching the person who you were born to be, actually. So many influence and sacrifices, thinking about other people sake, other’s perception making us divert from who is the real us. 

     Anyway, I have never feel this real before. I think I already have the feeling to be married. So shy. I want to be married with this guy because he makes me want rediscover myself again, embrace who I am and at least never see me as a broken pieces that need to be fix, cause he treat me as Bashira, not a girl or a woman. I can imagine him with his charming smile. 

     I think some pieces of me have forgotten the root of myself because so busy seeing someone else. I want to retrieve all my mother’s word again that keep me going. Being adult really shadowed all the words because you think you already grown up. Time to pour out some from the cup, in order to keep it refill and rejoice. 

Vuvuzela

I just got back from SCM and my favorite little gem, Qalesha. She’s just a magic and hit me with one of her magic wand like no other. I just grab her up and pointing upon the sky and showing her few stars and remind her the song of twinkle little star. Precious. Few hours before that, of course going out with my man. And I snapped this with the laziness of removing my make up. Thank god he’s already asleep. This is the prove babyyy :*

 
Breath Bashira. I just got a pocket watch with bronze stone as the cover make me feel like Snow White again, or perhaps Alice in the Wonderland. Dancing in the heart right away and he just smiled away. How could a guy still exist in this world knowing that I would prefer a pocket watch compared to a Prada handbag? I don’t know but being with someone that actually keep you from becoming like everyone else expected you to be, is an Olympic gold.

 
I finally said something that I shouldn’t but I feel it is necessary. What were I thinking? Not that I am not sure of but sometimes the words, that particular statement have to get out, not for the listener, for it gives you strength. Too good to be true thing, which probably it is, but I dare to say not. Whatever it is, Allah knows best and I am anticipating it. 

Best Sunday

For the first time, I found a guy/people/man who is so mesmerizing, with his laughter, smile and definitely his voice. Why would anyone be so charming and too good to be true and at the same time be yours?

 It is the amazing feeling.

This sound of Alfred telling Bruce Wayne that makes me wanna cry somehow : I had this fantasy that I would look across the tables and I'd see you there, with a wife, maybe a couple of kids. You wouldn't say anything to me, nor me to you, but we'd both know...that you'd made it, that you were happy

Happy Monday in one hour. Start the day with a grateful heart :)

Cotton Candy

Of all million people,
I would rather choose you because
you make me feel I am one in a million

even for just eating KFC together
<3

Tues Day

Flash Back

So many wishes, yes, how I wish you everyday not working like today and we talked from the random shit starting from how you were late for exam before, planning on how to meet each other at the slightest free time I ever have, surviving not to get lost in direction without your dear GPS, and how you making a big deal on how many times I yawning. And we ended our day by grammar session :) 

But the best part is when I stop doing my work just to get the grasp of our dream together to have business and I am really on it! cause you are so amazing to be true 

<3