Wednesday, March 30

Rainbow & Unicorn

At this moment, when I captured this, I know exactly what I want for my wedding.

p/s : Makin lambatlah kau kahwin ye Bashira, kene kumpul duit berkepul-kepul dulu -_-"

Monday, March 28

I Think Too Much

Based on exponential probability models of time, probability of waiting 5 minutes for the bus is the same as probability of waiting another one hour. It is funny how people try so hard to predict the future, but at least statistician do learn well about life.
In much reality view, same goes to the how many time you will get your heart broken. Thinking statistically, probability you will get hurt twice, thrice and even infinity, will always be the same. Because they hold the property of memoryless in the model.

Same as we human, we forget and live

*Jotted when in the mood for both statistics and cancer development exams. my brain is already twisted enough.

Sunday, March 20

Across the Border, I Love You

Deeply, I apologized,
We never had a birthday celebration together,
I never get a chance to give present to you by myself,
Only through “abg posmen”.

I apologized,
Cause we rarely met for a date,
Only twice a year, no, sometimes only once,
where we have to fly across the border.
Getting sick of the plane,
Just for the sake of seeing your face in reality.

Truly,I apologized,
Our time difference is sucks,
Sometimes we getting confused on what day we need to wish,
Your today or my today ?
But today for your birthday
I choose your today.

I apologized,
Sometimes internet connection play a big f-king time,
We even have to waste all the candles in the box,
While waiting for your Skype video to appear again,
To celebrate your birthday.

Deeply, I apologized again,
When you have to stay awake until 5 in the morning,
Waiting for me to wake up,
When you have class at 9am on the next day,
Yet, you keep waiting.

I apologized,
When we have to fight
For the stucked video and pending Skype message,
and for the phone call that never clear,
but at least saying “Hello"
and "I love you” sounded very clear to me.

Happy 22nd Birthday Raja Azraff,
From your girlfriend across the border
I love you

p/s : Sloppy, sloppy kisses from me :-*

Friday, March 18

Just The Way You Are

Can you tell a lie when you speak the truth?
Are you in love with someone who never existed?
Do you miss the things you never knew?

Let the answer always be no.

Because happiness is next to you. Look around. Don’t search forever

Because we don’t have forever.

Wednesday, March 16

On the Sleepless Road

School has started, so does the sleepless night

Just a random thought while walking home.

When you feel give up and perhaps it shouldn’t meant to be,

because if it does,

it shouldn’t be this damn hard.

Close your eyes,

and think again why you hold on to it this far, at the first place.


Friday, March 11

God bless the daylight, the Sugary Smell of Springtime

Life still look beautiful through the window of mine,
With the snow still showering in the month of March, weird.
What else will be unexpected?

I miss home

and yes, spring break has come to the end.
Time for class.

Tuesday, March 8

A Walk of Love

Through the snow, we walk,
Under the naked tree, we walk & giggling all the way,
Passed by all the ‘sales’ & ‘clearance’, that we hardly ignored,
Through the glass, looking at two nerds waiting at the bus stop while eating frozen yogurt,
Mine New York Cheesecake and hers is Lime & Berry,
Walk again, again and again, with eyes looking far to the end of the street
With our house still not visible,
Until the moon shaped itself into crescent
With stars filling up the sky
We are still walking
A walk of love
Who else I’ll be walking with, if not with my best friend.

Monday, March 7

Tiada Satu Setan pun Yang Tahu

Ada orang yang menghabiskan waktunya berziarah ke mekkah,
Aada orang yang menghabiskan waktunya berjudi di wiraza,
Ttapi aku ingin menghabiskan waktu ku disisi mu sayang ku….
Bicara tentang anjing-anjing kita yang nakal dan lucu
Atau tentang bunga-bunga yang manis di lembah mandala wangi

Ada serdadu-serdadu Amerika yang mati kena bom di danang
Ada bayi-bayi yang lapar di Biafra
Tapi aku ingin mati disisi mu manisku

Setelah kita bosan hidup dan terus bertanya-tanya
Tentang tujuan hidup yang tidak satu setan pun tahu
Mari sini sayangngku
Kalian yang pernah mesra Yang pernah baik dan simpati padaku
Tegaklah ke langit luas Atau awan yang menang

Kita tak pernah menanamkan apa-apa
Kita takkan pernah kehilangan apa-apa

Nasib terbaik adalah tidak pernah dilahir
Yang kedua dilahirkan tapi mati muda
Dan yang tersial adalah berumur tua

Berbahagialah mereka yang mati muda
Mahluk kecil kembalilah dari tiada ke tiada
Berbahagialah dalam ketiadaanmu

I found this poem randomly. No, I believe God lead me to this inspiring yet romantics poem. This is the last poem written by Soe Hok Gie. In fact, his diary was published titled Soe Hok-Gie: Diary of a Young Indonesian Intellectual by Dr John Maxwell in 1997. Can you believe that? It is only his diary. What is in your diary then?

A little bit on his biography taken from Wiki. His work become the one of motivation for the country under the cruelty of the leader. In his time, he becomes the activist under the regime of Indonesia's founding father Sukarno, which was characterised with conflict between the military and the Indonesian Communist Party (PKI).However, Soe and his friends insisted that they were politically neutral; I love this part. As much as Soe has respect for Sukarno as Indonesia's founding father, Soe detested Sukarno's dictatorship which caused the poor and the oppressed to suffer. Soe was well aware of the social inequality, power abuse, and corruption under the government of Sukarno, and courageously spoke out against it in discussion groups, student unions, and wrote sharp criticisms in the media.

He believes in this , which is quoted by himself "It is better to be singled out than to surrender to hypocrisy”.
but from my personal favorite from him is

“Saya tidak mahu menjadi pohon bambu, saya mahu jadi pohon oak yang berani menentang angin”

Remember the last poem he wrote above :

“ Nasib terbaik adalah tidak pernah dilahir
Yang kedua dilahirkan tapi mati muda
Dan yang tersial adalah berumur tua "

He died at such a young age, 27 years old. God granted his dream.


Saturday, March 5

Match Point

I’ve come across a very good movie. It all starts with Jonathan Rhyss Meyer being in the movie. Of course :-)

At some point of your life, no matter how hard you give in, how hard you try you end up with just one choice; which is to give up. But when that point comes, you just have to close your eyes, pray your luck be with you.

There is one saying when child was born, you not hoping he will be great, but hoping he will be on his luck. In this movie, he make all his point of life in just one simple game, tennis.

The man who said "I'd rather be lucky than good" saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are moments in a match when the ball hits the top of the net, and for a split second, it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck, it goes forward, and you win. Or maybe it doesn't, and you lose.

Or the truth is, at some point of your life, when life somehow is not in your own’s control anymore, you afraid . I know it is scary, cause I am scared too. But you must believe that

Allah is always out there for you :-)

Thursday, March 3

Here Come The Hotstepper

I wanted to share the world that I have really talented friend in photography, despite the fact that he is a nerd in Biotechnology, sorry Shafar :D Something to be proud right ?

All I Know is What’s Inside My Head

This is what I do today. I have a ballroom dancing exam. Not so much practice. Not so much studying. All you have to do is to trust yourself making every step, without looking down at your feet.

My partner just smile when I made a wrong step, tend to do Cha Cha step in Rumba. Maybe, it just Cha Cha rhythm keep playing in my head. It rhymes sounds so good in my head, and my feet just obey, and surprisingly even the Rumba song loudly played in the hall

Or maybe I only do what is in my head

Only in my head.


Tuesday, March 1

I’m Off The Earth, On The Stars

Counting 8 months to go
New Zealand , seduce me with all your nature of earth and make me high until the stars :-)