Saturday, June 30

Sheer of Simplicity

Who ever imagined, the classy Breakfast at Tiffany featuring Audrey Hepburn wearing gorgeous Givenchy dress dolled up, with her demure face in all over posters and even on my bedroom wall, merely just to eat pastry and coffee outside of Tiffany & Co’s window? 

Seriously it gives me a goosebump which I don’t know why.

And if they want to make movies on Audrey Hepburn, Nina Dobrev would be the best or perhaps Natalie Portman?

Friday, June 29

Have Some Macaroons

This video warms my heart, like one of the clear blue sky in State College. Have some time. Have a good weekend !

It is like forgetting some words from your favorite song

I came across this good reading, and not only for me, for all the girls out there. Have some time for this :

Why you shouldn’t marry before 30

&& I love this: “If you don’t love yourself and commit to your own happiness, then you’ll constantly change yourself to make other people happy. Until you really know who you are and what you want with complete confidence, do not commit your life to someone else. You can do more for other people when you stay connected to your own dreams

Sunday, June 17

Of white roses

I think she’s a sweetheart. First of all she’s a vintage. The face is classic, mix of natalie portman and perhaps marilyn monroe. I dont know. You can listen to her song being stoned and sexy at the same time. Her music video is violent, with a sweetheart face just like that. From the music video, she’s playing the music so close to real life, her guy definitely not the prince from Cindrella, and her face expression is honest. When she said this:

“Don’t make me sad, don’t make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don’t know why”

She’s Lana :)

Hello romantics

Liquid Sunshine

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth “You owe me”. Look what happen to the love like that. It lights the whole sky, but few days ago, the sky look sick and the sun look intense. Earth definitely owe them. Humans owe them, we should love them more. 

Yesterday was an eye opener, it felt like it finally answered all the questions that I have been denying I had, lingering around like those wind that hit your face once in a while, then gone. 

I have been interviewed by bunch of open minded college students who seeing me as an inspiration. I felt like those wind really hit me hard on my face. It has been a while, because I am alone. 

All of us who labor in the science know that it can be a lonely existence. We often find ourselves living a life of solitary dreams, disconnected from others and driven by a vision that no one else seems to value or share. On some days, this can become overwhelming. 

We then thirst for a single voice of understanding that will reach into our solitary lives and reassure us that the path we have chosen is worth, and that the rewards it offers are worth the loneliness it entails. And that single voice from yesterday, warm my heart and almost make me teary, cause I realized from others view, I am doing the hardest thing on earth, and I am alone. 

And the happiest moment is, I do not realize how hard is that, until yesterday. Cause perhaps, I love what I am doing, since I cram into a bus everyday for 3 hours a day just to see my precious keratinocytes and fibroblast growing 

I am such a bracelet :)

Wednesday, June 13


Are you gonna be an eagle, a loner who ready to fly away, left markers all over the world, but very few at home

Or would you be a lioness who cares for everyone and keeps the pride together?


Brainy Hearty

Nobody really knows who they are, what they love & what they dream of.

And they went searching for some answers , which is : maybe

Tuesday, June 12


Today, I work like a zombie.

I reached my bedroom and look at the mirror, seeing my face

“Hey pretty!"

and I smiled like a girl :)

Saturday, June 9

Seeing a chandelier

Photos was my extension of myself, is just what I felt, thought and dream on. The same feeling I had when my mother gave me a green Kodak camera when I was 7. The sound of the click and the flash, doesn’t make me startled, doesn’t make me doubt of myself at all. Somehow, it makes me safe. Only sometimes, my mother repositioned my small hand to the correct angle. The thrill, yes the thrill when the film was sent to the camera shop. Wala, with every photo I turned, I see me, no expectation from others, just me.

Oh it’s a wonderful feeling.

Sticky notes that never sticks

Eavesdropping to my mother’s stories, always been my favorite, always been like a first time listener. Or it is just her voice, always been a passionate story teller

She said that when people died, in our prayer, the last name become their mother’s instead of father’s.

Cause only our mothers know who’s the father of the child


Sun Apr 22

I have this on draft, my birthday

Seems I cant get a word out of my heart that day. Speechless, typeless

But the words there, contained. Definitely nothing more than the pray and thankfulness and then I got this.

The sweetest is when there is few chocolate wrapped up in glossy colored paper scattered in the box boost up the color of the pastel blouse, with scented oil burner, contained in Paris gift box. He combined it all to make it romantic,

even without him

Minty green

I bought a minty green hair ribbon clip with white polka dot. I am in love.
I mentioned "wet chicken" instead of "wet kitchen". Alzheimer again.

What happen to me? I can no more finish up my big mac.

And her eyes is mesmerizing

Lavender Sky

I was on my fluffy bed for the previous post. And now I am on hard blue chair backing my precious laminar hood.The heat of the incubator hit me, when I open it checking on my cell, deeply I pray,

Please grow well and help me to help others 


Friday, June 8

Counting Stars on Starless Sky.

My life has been walking, dragging my foot, picking up every dust on the road my foot step on, and at the end it is gone, when getting washed. Of course nobody remember this, cause it is a routine.

 Life’s been a routine, it is a mistake.

Being routinely to life, making me alzheimer.

Whenever I step on a weight scale, my brain autodrive to wondering how much I weighted  back in states, it’s been a lot of times, yet I can never remember.
Reminiscing days, making me teary, perhaps of the lost memory that I can’t recall. March is been romantic. April was shit. May is full of decision making, and June?

 Instagram has been my morning newspaper and seeing pictures and photos, making me daydreaming, detach me from the moment. I am so in love.

Can’t believe it is the truth, yet impressive. Last time I recall, I felt my eyes so wide, as if it has been teared open whenever my article is on screen and I felt my brain empty cause the words got stuck at my eyes. Cause it doesn’t get through. Like a bottleneck effect. But now, my eyes hunting for the words of reveal, full of suspense and thrill. Finally, God has answered my prayer.

I felt funny. About my novel Bronze Horseman, which I read it 5 months ago. The novel that I have been crying loud, giving my heart a scar, emotionally ‘I don’t want to read towards the end, cause it is too sad’ and I read it anyway cause I saw happy ending fan made youtube, still hoping it is gonna be a good ending even at the last two pages.Stupid
And I am reading a new novel, Winter Garden, about daughters struggling to get know her cold hearted mother through her fairy tale story telling, also telling about the Leningrad, Stalin, summer garden, Bronze Horseman. I guess I am stuck at that era. Never give up torturing my heart. Duh. Coincidence

I am suck at decision making, cause I hate choices. From Saga-Myvi-Ford Fiesta-Vios-Mazda. Dad, please give me choices like Mini Cooper or Golf. So I don’t have to choose anymore.

I am still a child.

Thank god, love isn’t a choice.