Be Mine

I love the little things in Youtube video that made your eyes watery and the way it made you thinking about it all the night, about choices, my guilt and Charles Manson. Really sayang? Thats so romantic of you to tell me about that on NYE, and  and how you can still talk about it for millionth times on the phone, when my eyes were seconds to shut. And how you can shut it off, change to new topic and started to laugh about, with my eyes still stick on you. And how you mumble about me being restless on new year which it just enough to make me stay on the screen, half listening, not for the words, but for the voice, and again the words :*

You are alive

I have to type this down in the midst of fireworks welcoming two thousand thirteen. I have to stop and breath. It feels like my life hit the pause button somewhere in the middle of April to October, and hit play at the end of two thousand twelve. Because I started to feel again. One Republic was right. I have been too ignorant of my feeling cause I am just too scared to feel. Dumb. In the end I broke people’s heart. I don’t feel good at all. Time to get my loved ones on top of the list, cause I just couldn’t put everyone on the top. Not everyone deserved me. Period. My best friends are on a mission to teach me how to feel and become a woman, and think like a woman. Crap, I think lika a man? but I still love them. 

Anyway, I feel blessed. While you are being ignorant at some point, there is a few people lining up who cares so much about you. Time to give back some love. And foremost is, I feel there is something that I lost in two thousand twelve and I found it now when midnight strikes. I found Safwan

It is my own self

Midnight Candy

Marshmallow

I found this magical, like unicorn 

Exchanging love letter on the morning of the wedding .  That’s love :)

Summernight Clouds

As I am writing this, Stuck On A Feeling by Jackson Water vibrating through my ear. It is not about the song, it is about the guy that made me feel this way. How we could we tell each other the same stories about how we met, in a different version every time, and yet never fail to make it sound it was for the first time. The funny part is we could always twisting it up, to make it more concise and clearer just to make it more understandable by heart

The truth is, the feeling is indescribable and your smile is the answer. I feel I want to record every words you said in my entire life cause it has been my silence for the past few years, it is the word that I could not find but never stop searching .And if this doesn’t work out, who’s gonna say all the words on my behalf?

No one