Lavender Sky

I was on my fluffy bed for the previous post. And now I am on hard blue chair backing my precious laminar hood.The heat of the incubator hit me, when I open it checking on my cell, deeply I pray,

Please grow well and help me to help others 

:)

Counting Stars on Starless Sky.

My life has been walking, dragging my foot, picking up every dust on the road my foot step on, and at the end it is gone, when getting washed. Of course nobody remember this, cause it is a routine.

 Life’s been a routine, it is a mistake.


Being routinely to life, making me alzheimer.

Whenever I step on a weight scale, my brain autodrive to wondering how much I weighted  back in states, it’s been a lot of times, yet I can never remember.
Reminiscing days, making me teary, perhaps of the lost memory that I can’t recall. March is been romantic. April was shit. May is full of decision making, and June?

 Instagram has been my morning newspaper and seeing pictures and photos, making me daydreaming, detach me from the moment. I am so in love.

Can’t believe it is the truth, yet impressive. Last time I recall, I felt my eyes so wide, as if it has been teared open whenever my article is on screen and I felt my brain empty cause the words got stuck at my eyes. Cause it doesn’t get through. Like a bottleneck effect. But now, my eyes hunting for the words of reveal, full of suspense and thrill. Finally, God has answered my prayer.

I felt funny. About my novel Bronze Horseman, which I read it 5 months ago. The novel that I have been crying loud, giving my heart a scar, emotionally ‘I don’t want to read towards the end, cause it is too sad’ and I read it anyway cause I saw happy ending fan made youtube, still hoping it is gonna be a good ending even at the last two pages.Stupid
And I am reading a new novel, Winter Garden, about daughters struggling to get know her cold hearted mother through her fairy tale story telling, also telling about the Leningrad, Stalin, summer garden, Bronze Horseman. I guess I am stuck at that era. Never give up torturing my heart. Duh. Coincidence

I am suck at decision making, cause I hate choices. From Saga-Myvi-Ford Fiesta-Vios-Mazda. Dad, please give me choices like Mini Cooper or Golf. So I don’t have to choose anymore.

I am still a child.

Thank god, love isn’t a choice.

Thud

This movie give my heart and brain almighty thud. Homeless to Harvard. If this is what the real education is, then I ‘ve been learning nothing.

Easy Way

I hate people who litter. I think those people are very selfish and lazy, since they can’t clean up their own waste. I hate people who’d just finished eating cendol, wipe their mouth with tissue, and while walking, drop the tissue. Oops. That’s unacceptable.

I hate those people who cant afford to dirty their car, but willingly to dirty the land of others, by throw it outside the car. I saw this, I honk endlessly.

If everybody can mind their own waste, our homes can be a better place.

What is the selfish comes for?

After all, we are stepping on the same land

Slow and Soft

It gets to half of February soon. Everything is moving so soft and slow so far. Not like when studying time, when our heart is struck with exams, quizzes and assignments. Making the heart skip a beat, cause it is going so fast. Prolly only in the heart, not in the everything.

Starting from the beginning of the year, it sounds so different from last year. In fact, no sound at all. The serenity of Kuala Kurau and the firework thumping from Sydney Harbour Bridge distinguish perfectly, but two things remain: the loved person I am with, and the dream

It reminds me of how dreamy I am when I am strolling on the rock of Bondi-Coogee Coastal Walk with my man, while looking front on the Subhnallah sunset view. Its amazing, how your eyes cant communicate with your mouth, and the eyes just decided to keep it as a secret. And the edge of Bondi-Coogee rock full with dreamy people who do nothing too, but staring at the shy sun. Priceless

And I feel this is so theraputic compared to the bombastic words of science on a piece of paper. I need a break

;)